


I'll Stick Around

by VioletTeaTime



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Deaf Hartley Rathaway, Fluff and Angst, Good Hartley Rathaway, Hartley Rathaway Centric, M/M, Men Crying, Mild Gore, look its less shippy than i intended
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-04
Updated: 2020-07-04
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:08:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25062895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VioletTeaTime/pseuds/VioletTeaTime
Summary: if you want that?-Hartley's hearing forces him to push people away both before the incident and after. Cisco has been there through it all.
Relationships: Cisco Ramon/Hartley Rathaway
Comments: 6
Kudos: 52





	I'll Stick Around

**Author's Note:**

> this is a little more expiremental than i typically write, with less dialouge and more just,,, feeling. similar to the writing style of Brain Bubbles, I suppose  
> tw: self hatred, mild gore, eobard thawne
> 
> the scene where hartley is in the cell (1x12 i think and 2x17) i didn't pull up scripts for so it's like,,, changed a little both for drama and because my memory is shit

Hartley has never felt like he's fit in anywhere. At home, he always felt like he was walking on eggshells, trying to play the perfect Catholic, straight son his parents wanted. At school, he was told to be modest of his mind, sit quietly and act properly. When he walks into STAR Labs for the first time, he's understandably nervous about his situation. Before he even meets Wells, he's worried about if there's a space for someone like him, if the lab will accommodate his disability, his sexuality, his behaviour. 

Wells hires him during the interview, and Hartley stares at the screen Wells is using to talk to him with tears in his eyes. He's not expected to be hearing, to be able to decipher what few words Wells gives. He's expected to be him.

-

The others in the lab don't always feel that way. Most people forget or ignore his disability and speak to his back. They get frustrated when he disconnects his cochlear, sick of the buzzing, or when he fully turns off his aids, too focused on his work to care what others say. And he's fine with what the others think of him, for the most part. Caitlin is polite, as is Ronnie, edging on nice. Caitlin learns a little sign, enough to ask him if he needs help, or what he's doing. Ronnie takes notes for him in meetings so he doesn't have to rely on his speech to text translator that can't seem to understand the science jargon well.

He does feel lonely, though. He feels lonely even sitting across from Wells, who drums his fingers on the table as he thinks, nodding his head to a distant beat. He feels lonely when he sits in his lab at lunch, the other scientists together, talking, laughing. He feels lonely until Cisco Ramon walks in.

-

Cisco is more than enough to fill a room. He walks in with unprofessional clothing and a goofy smile, and Hartley can't bring himself to ignore him. He makes a dick of himself the first time Cisco meets him, hoping it's enough to send Cisco into the arms of Caitlin and Ronnie, or anyone who is able to handle interpersonal relationships. He retreats to his workspace some time later, turning his aids fully off to rid himself of the distant buzz, and goes back to tinkering on the sonic pulsator he'd been working on, a piece he was hoping would be able to help abuse victims escape from situations with a smaller device than pepper spray or a knife. 

He's able to feel Cisco before Cisco realizes. He walks remarkably heavily, and Hartley can feel the vibrations in the floor as Cisco thumps into his lab. He turns his chair and fixes the Puerto Rican with a look. Cisco looks down at his sneakers, _dear lord, he's wearing Air Jordans in the workplace_ , and it takes Hartley a moment to realize he's speaking. 

"I can't hear you." He's sure his words come out slightly slurred, and Cisco's head rises slightly. He repeats whatever he had previously said, but his mouth forms words strangely and Hartley's never been good at lipreading. "Ramon, I can't hear you." He turns his head slightly and gestures up to the cochlear implant that emerges from his dark hair. Cisco stares at it for a long moment. 

He overdramatically mouths the word 'nevermind' before retreating out of Hartley's lab. _Good, Cisco. Leave._

-

However, Cisco is back the next day, around the same time. He looks just as unprofessional as the day before, having switched his tacky Star Wars shirt for a Pokemon one and his Jordans for ancient looking Chucks. His dark hair is down, and much longer than it had seemed with his bun the previous day, the strands bouncing up towards the ends. Hartley has one aid still turned on, expecting a call from the biomechanic team concerning one of their projects, when Cisco knocks on his doorframe. 

"Ramon." It's all Hartley can say, taking aback by how nervous Cisco looks. The other man says nothing. "Did you need something, or did you just need some eye candy?"

"I-" Cisco waves his hand in the air for just a moment before dropping it. Hartley blinks at him. He does not admire how sweet Cisco looks when he's frustrated. 

"Well?"

Cisco mutters under his breath, and Hartley wishes more than anything else that he could hear Cisco swear. 

"Nevermind."

-

It's the next week when Cisco returns, once again, at the same time to Hartley's workspace. He'd never admit it to himself, but it had been driving Hartley mad not to know what Cisco wanted. _Hopefully, he's gone away. Hopefully, he's realized._

Cisco doesn't knock this time, and he almost gets the jump on Hartley. He would have, if he hadn't pounded into the room like a herd of elephants. Hartley drops his screwdriver, his nose scrunching as Cisco places his hands down on Hartley's desk. As a force of habit, Hartley's hand goes up to turn his aid up.

Cisco waves him off, and Hartley lets his hand fall down back to the table, less than an inch away from the darker man's. Cisco's hands are strong-looking, grease starting to stain his short nails. Hartley's look small in comparison, freckled fingers longer, the true hands of a pianist, but are dainty. Cisco raises his hand, and brings it close to him before he begins to sign.

 _Lunch._ It's a simple word, hiding the nervous expression on Cisco's soft face. Hartley's worried heart warms as he nods. Moments later, he's gathering his scarf and jacket, anxiety ebbing at the edges of his chest. _Cisco shouldn't get attached. Cisco shouldn't try this hard._

But he's standing there, wearing a garish yellow jacket over his Dragonball Z sweater, grinning as Hartley prepares to join him, and Hartley lets himself believe, just for a moment, that he deserves this.

-

They have lunch often. Dinner occurs sometimes, but far less often. It's fleeting, the time they share. The chuckles as Cisco learns ASL, as he gets phrases horribly wrong and Hartley holds his hands as he shows Cisco what he means to say. Cisco quickly learns Hartley is a vegan, and starts looking for restaurants that serve food he can eat. When they run out of restaurants close to the lab, Hartley starts making lunches for them on occasion, so they don't get sick of going to the same places. On one occasion, Cisco slips his hand in Hartley's without so much as a word.

Hartley thinks the worst part is that he lets him. Hartley lets Cisco get close to him. And it's all too much. 

Their first kiss is at lunch at a Vietnamese place around the corner. It's short, and sweet, and Cisco laughs as Hartley drinks all the water in his glass, the spice on Cisco's lips unbearable. 

_White boy._

_Are you eating fire?_

_Medium._

_No fucking way._

_Medium, heart._

Hartley's hands always feel heavy by the time he drops Cisco's before the doors of STAR Labs. He turns his aids back on, blinking away tears as the noise filters back in from the dull place it had been before, the feeling intense. Cisco's hand goes to the dimple at the bottom of Hartley's spine, and his skin feels like its on fire in the best way.

"Will I see you tonight?" Cisco's words drip like honey.

"Mmm. I'll be late, I want to run the numbers again on the volume of sector ten of the pipeline."

"You're such a perfectionist."

"And you're such a perfection."

-

It's two hours later when Hartley is fired and thrown to the streets with the threat of a ruined career. Just before Hartley is pulled out of their- _his. this pipeline is his-_ pipeline, Wells' hand grips Hartley's chin.

"Cisco will not know of this. There's a lot worse I can do than kill you to hurt you. Remember that."

-

Two weeks finds Hartley squatting in a building that looks to be months away from caving in, clutching his head, unsure if the piercing sound was from himself or not. He pulls his hands away, holding his bloody aids in shaky hands, his head feeling like a windstorm. Warmth flows down his neck, red dripping onto the concrete under him as his body shakes. He thinks he's sobbing, or screaming, or silent. His chest hurts, his throat hurts,his ears hurt.

_His ears hurt. Is Cisco hurt?_

_His ears hurt. Is Cisco safe?_

_His ears hurt. Is Cisco alive?_

_His ears hurt._

-

Cisco still trusts him, even on the other side of a glorified cage in the pipeline Hartley helped build. Cisco trusts him as much as he deserves to be trusted, he supposes, after Hartley destroyed a company building and tried to put an end to Wells' new leather-clad pet. 

"The computer is detecting foreign metallic objects in your ears. Take 'em out, Hartley." Cisco wont even meet his eyes. Hartley deserves this.

"I can't. Without these, I am in unbearable pain that you can't even imagine." He gestures to his ears, and Cisco seems surprised to see no cochlear on the side of his head. The skinny tall thing beside Cisco suggests that they use a sound stimulus to keep Hartley otherwise occupied, and his heart drops in his chest as he's forced to remove his aids, buckling in pain.

Cisco is more than happy to leave Hartley alone, listening to a song he knew he hates. Hartley sits on the ground, fingers rolling in his ears, gently soothing the pounding feeling of taking out his implants.

-

The night before Hartley helps Cisco find Ronnie, he comes down to the cell anyway. The music changes during that time, set to a playlist of songs that Hartley can find himself enjoying. The door opens, and Cisco looks like shit. His eyes are puffy and his hair is pulled in one of the saddest ponytails Hartley's ever seen. He sits on the ground, back pressed against the thick glass doors, looking away. Hartley shifts from one wall to the other, joining him in pressing his back to the glass. He strokes the fabric of his sweater in time with the music. 

They sit like that for a long time. Cisco sniffles and shifts, turning his head to look at Hartley every couple minutes. Eventually, Hartley knocks on the glass, and Cisco meets his eyes.

 _Open the food hatch._ There was a small entrance to the cell that he team had been using to feed him. With an unreadable look on his face, Cisco does so. Hartley unbuckles the neckpiece of his hoodie, letting it fall away before shoving it through the small crevice. It falls in a heap on the floor.

_Why._

_You always wore my clothes._ Hartley watches as Cisco takes the bundle and shakes it out before sliding the hoodie on. He doesn't do up the clasp.

 _Why did you leave._

_All I can say is that I wish I did_ _not_.

That's enough for Cisco, who buries his face in the hoodie. After a moment, he taps on the glass, getting Hartley's attention, as if he had ever lost it.

_You smell different._

_Sorry._

_I miss you._

Hartley touches the glass before closing his eyes, empty ears aching as the song switches back to Rick Astley.

-

The dementor, or time demon, or whatever the fuck Barry Allen wants to call it attacks, and Hartley is almost happy that Caitlin and Cisco rush into his cell, just so he can feel Cisco again. He'd be happy to die if it meant being held in those arms just once more.

-

Somehow, they all live, and Hartley helps them understand FIRESTORM, and he's let go with a promise to help them find a way to stop the bloody thing from attacking Barry in the future. Or the past. Fuck time travel.

He feels far away as he floats through his old workspace, almost untouched from the last day he was here. Some of his personal belongings, a pair of hearing aids, his Spanish copy of Gatsby, and a photo that used to be on his desk of himself and Cisco are all gone. Hartley sits at his old desk, familiar yet unfamiliar papers overwhelming him. He smiles as he feels the floor move beneath his feet, despite the fact he can hear Cisco from a mile away. 

"Hey."

"Hello." Hartley swirls his chair to face Cisco. His hair is so long now.

"So..." 

"You can say what you need to say."

"Why did you leave me?" The words feel like a punch to his gut.

"I can't... Cisco, I can't..."

"Why?" His words sound so gummy, and Hartley can hear his breathing rattle, the rushing of his blood, the movement and the pain.

"I'm sorry, I have to go."

"Hartley, wait-"

"No, I can't be here."

-

He comes back sometimes. He helps out Caitlin in the lab, and silently works alongside Cisco, giving him the briefest of touches. Some days, he leaves a lunch on Cisco's desk. Some days, he can't stand to come back at all, in the presence of his jail and jailers, in the man who ruined his relationship and life's work in the blink of an eye with no remorse. He wants nothing more than to protect them from him. He wants nothing more than to protect Cisco.

-

It's Eobard Thawne, not Harrison Wells that has ruined him. Ruined them. It doesn't change how he feels about his manipulation.

-

Hartley feels safer in the building with Thawne out of it. Barry notices, and gives him a keycard so he doesn't keep slipping in through the exposed side of the pipeline. He starts working on more side projects with them, and it's less than two months before Cisco gives him his hoodie back reinforced with Kevlar and a mask to boot.

 _The Piper can be more than a man. He can be a hero._ Hartley wants to believe him.

-

Hartley is tinkering with his gauntlets when Cisco gets the drop on him, opening a breach right into his lab. Hartley staggers back, hitting the chair behind him, just barely catching himself on the table.

"Ha! Finally got you!"

"You're trouble." He smiles up at the other man, surprised to find him smiling back.

"So... I was thinking."

"You can do that?" Cisco scoffs slightly.

"Asshole. I was thinking, that, maybe, I don't know..." He scratches the back of his head.

"What?" Hartley knows what's coming.

_Lunch._

**Author's Note:**

> sorry, hartley  
> violetteatime on tumblr!  
> please drop a kudo or comment!  
> 


End file.
